Rachel Bublitz

Writer

Aug 15, 2012

The 31st Play

And just like that (snap your fingers) I’ve written 31 plays. I don’t think I’m going to stop. I’ve really enjoyed pushing myself to write nearly every day. This play isn’t my favorite play, I think being the 31st play had a lot of pressure on it. I’m happy to be done with it, and now I can write plays without counting (who am I kidding, I’ll still be counting).

###Going To The Chapel, a short play

By Rachel Bublitz

LARRY and NORA are on stage.

NORA I’m terrible with money. I buy pretty things instead of feeding myself.

LARRY That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

NORA I know, right?

LARRY I’m obsessed with porn.

NORA Porn?

LARRY It’s just… So easy, it’s right there on my computer, my phone. Basically every free moment…

NORA Porn?

LARRY Yep.

NORA I’m not planning this… But I’m 90% positive I’m going to put on 30-40 pounds in the next 3 years.

LARRY That’s a lot of weight.

NORA It is.

LARRY I’m going to sleep with someone else, I know it.

NORA I’ll want to sleep with someone else.

LARRY You won’t?

NORA Just to prove that I’m better than you.

LARRY Damn, that’s… Bitter.

NORA It’s true though.

LARRY Will you leave me?

NORA Probably. And after I do, I’ll try and keep the kids from seeing you.

LARRY Kids?

NORA The kids we’ll have.

LARRY I don’t want kids.

NORA That’ll change. And if not, I’ll just get pregnant on “accident.”

LARRY You’ll keep the kids I don’t want from me?

NORA You’ll want them at that point.

LARRY Right.

NORA So.

LARRY Yeah.

NORA Are we going to do this?

LARRY Well… All the people are here.

NORA It’s a lot of people.

LARRY If we didn’t… I mean all that shit would happen with anyone I’d marry, right?

NORA I think so.

LARRY Me too. And, honestly, I’d rather go through all of that then walk out there and tell everyone the wedding is off.

NORA That’s an excellent point.

LARRY I love you.

NORA I’m just glad you ask me to marry me… I’m hoping the love will come.

LARRY Lead the way, my bride.

End of play.