Rachel Bublitz


Getting What You Want Is Terrifying

July 31, 2013

There are a lot of stories out there that deal with the struggle you have to go through to get what you want. Fairytales are a great example of this… The heroes have to be brave or pious, stand up to evil, etc., and then they get to live happily ever after (and yes there's a whole lot of women getting treated terribly, but that's for another day's post). I am, as I think a lot of people are, used to this type of story. Because when you really want something it feels good to go after it without abandon. At least it does for me…. The trouble with these stories (let's say one of the troubles of these stories), is that they end once the character gets what they want. And hey, I get it, that's basic dramatic structure… Character x wants something, there's an obstacle, then struggle, then they either get it or don't get it, and then the story ends. My question for today is… What happens when you do get what you want? Terrifying prospect, no?

A few years ago I was over-weight which resulted in me dislocating my knee (major pain). After that I decided that I wanted to be healthier and started to eat less and move more… Which resulted in weight loss. Good, yes? For the most part yes. It was what I wanted. But there was about six months where my new slimmer figure gave me severe anxiety. I got complimented whenever I went out, I noticed people smiling at me more, being checked out more, family and friends would fawn over me whenever I'd see them… And this freaked me the (sorry for the language) fuck out. I had gotten what I wanted. I had set out to lose weight, there were obstacles, I met them, I was victorious. But then what do you do?

Next example… About eight months after I first started to write plays, I got three acceptances all in one week; a reading, a production (of a short play), and a publication (of a short play). I was anxious for a month!

And now… My play, The Fantasy Club, opens on Friday, 31 Plays 31 Days seems bigger than ever, I'm starting grad school, then the Fringe plays (Buy tickets here, for my Fringe show), then Under The Gods’ Golden Cleats, and who even knows what's next! I'm just saying it's a lot, and I feel funny about it. I want it, and I've been working my butt of for all of these things, but I'm just not sure how to act now that I have it.

I suppose time is the answer… You get used to what you have once you have it… And then you get the joy of wanting, struggling, getting, and freaking out, all over again! Am I wrong? Thoughts?

Changing the subject….



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