Rachel Bublitz

Writer

Aug 15, 2013

Play Twenty: THE BEAR SWITCH @31plays31days

I know… It’s only the 15th and this post is all about play #20… I’m trying to finish early, okay guys? Take it easy.

Here’s the 20th play in the 31 Plays in 31 Days challenge:

*Oh, and there are swear words in here, you should know that in case you object to swearing…

###The Bear Switch, a short play by Rachel Bublitz

Characters:

Carol, 30 - 60s, f, any race

Glen, 30 - 60s, m, any race

Bear

Setting:

A camp ground in a forest.

A camp in a forest. CAROL sits, building a fire. GLEN enters at a run.

GLEN BEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GLEN exits at a run. Moment. GLEN re-enters.

GLEN (CONTINUED) RUN! CAROL, come on let’s GO! THERE’S A BEAR! A BEAR! Are you deaf? Carol?

CAROL Hush your face, I hear you just fine.

GLEN Get up! We have to run!

CAROL Why exactly?

GLEN THERE’S A FUCKING BEAR!

BEAR enters.

BEAR ROAR!

GLEN SHIT!

CAROL Oh, hello!

BEAR Roar.

CAROL You’re right on time!

BEAR nods HIS head.

GLEN You are talking to a BEAR? What is going on?

CAROL You remember how I said I was married before?

GLEN Um… Yeah…

CAROL This is my husband.

GLEN HUSBAND?

CAROL We were camping… Here, in this forest.

GLEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

BEAR moves aggressively toward GLEN.

BEAR ROAR!

CAROL I’d keep your voice down if I were you. And mind the f-bombs, Mike hates cursing.

GLEN MIKE?

CAROL My husband…. The bear!

GLEN I’m going to go now.

GLEN moves to exit.

CAROL Oh, I’m sorry, you can’t.

BEAR grabs GLEN and holds him.

GLEN But-

CAROL (Interrupting) I’m sorry, you look so confused. I’ll back up… Mike and I were here on vacation. Minding our own business…. Or so we thought.

BEAR ROAR!

CAROL I know, I know… But he deserves an explanation. Anyway, so we were camping, doing out thing, when in the night a witch came upon our campground. We were on the spot her husband was buried. And she was PISSED!… And, understandably, sure… But she should have invested in a grave stone or something, I mean how were we supposed to know?

GLEN Okay… What does that have to do with me.

CAROL It was five years ago. She said, the only way to reverse the spell was for us both to come back to the spot in five years… And…. Well have someone take his place.

GLEN Take his place?

CAROL That’s where you come in.

GLEN Wait!

CAROL Sorry.

GLEN No! I told you I loved you!

CAROL I know, it was so sweet.

GLEN But I bought you a ring, I was going to propose. And if it wasn’t for Mike, I’d have said yes. Really, you’re a great guy.

BEAR ROAR!

CAROL We’ll talk about it later, alright? I did what I had to baby.

GLEN So you tricked me into coming here and-

CAROL (Interrupting) Sh! It’s midnight! LOOK!

A strange light comes over both BEAR and GLEN, they fall to the floor in pain. GLEN turns into a bear, and BEAR turns into a human male, MIKE.

MIKE CAROL!

CAROL and MIKE kiss.

GLEN BEAR RRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!

CAROL We have to run! Let’s go!

GLEN BEAR stops CAROL and MIKE from leaving.

GLEN BEAR ROAR!

CAROL I’m sorry, I don’t… I had to save my husband!

GLEN BEAR eats CAROL.

MIKE NOOOOO!!!!!!!! You killed Carol! That was the love of my life! I’ll kill you!

GLEN BEAR eats MIKE. End of play.

I am not at all sure how someone could make a person turn into a bear, and have a bear turn into a person on stage, but I’m just the playwright… That’s not really my job.