Play 26, RAINBOW THE CLOWN
Getting closer to that magically number 31! This was one of my first plays that I wrote with a specific actor in mind… That is a fun way to do things, and I highly recommend it. Go and see local shows and get to know your local talent!
*Don’t read this if you are offended by clowns.
###Rainbow The Clown by Rachel Bublitz
Rainbow, m/f, 36, any race. A sad, tired, drunk clown.
RAINBOW is on stage and is drunk. RAINBOW drinks from a flask throughout the monologue.
####RAINBOW When I was six years old my pops paid a clown to come and entertain the kids for my birthday party. Maybe that’s what got me into this whole clown thing. I don’t know. I know when I was six, that clown was the scariest thing I ever saw! I wet myself every night for weeks. Bozo was his name, or something equally unoriginal. Smelled like an armpit, and hugged me real tight, because, after all it was my birthday.
####RAINBOW (CONTINUED) Now you’re wondering, why, why, why, why, if this clown scared me so deeply, would I myself become a clown? That, my friend is the million dollar question. Why did I become a clown? Why did I become a clown? WHY DID I BECOME A CLOWN? A clown. A clown! A CLOWN!… Well, I hate myself. You should know that straight off the bat. But, I’d like to think, I’d hope that I’m not as terrifying as that bastard was thirty years ago. I mean, today… Today wasn’t such a great day, I’ll be honest… And yeah, shoot me, yesterday probably wasn’t so hot. But, like years ago, I was a damn fine clown. I called myself Rainbow… Rainbow the clown. It might not set the world on fire, but it’s a lot more creative than Bozo. And I used to make the best balloon animals, and not stink so much of liquor… And I’m gonna get back there. I’m gonna get back to the good clown place.
####RAINBOW (CONTINUED) I mean, not right now… Obviously. Today has sailed if you know what I mean. Anyway, kid… Thanks for having me at your party, you’re a straight shooter, and I appreciate it. And if you find yourself traumatized by this whole thing, know you’re not the only one. At least half a dozen of your friends are probably gonna piss themselves tonight in bed. And you know, me. I mean, I’m not afraid of myself all the time…. But I do tend to avoid mirrors. It’s a bitch to get this makeup on, let me tell you…. Anyway, I’m gonna bounce, before the cops get here. Tell your folks to give me a good review on yelp, k?
RAINBOW exits. End.