Rachel Bublitz



August 16, 2013

Getting closer to that magically number 31! This was one of my first plays that I wrote with a specific actor in mind… That is a fun way to do things, and I highly recommend it. Go and see local shows and get to know your local talent!

*Don't read this if you are offended by clowns.

###Rainbow The Clown by Rachel Bublitz


Rainbow, m/f, 36, any race. A sad, tired, drunk clown.

RAINBOW is on stage and is drunk. RAINBOW drinks from a flask throughout the monologue.

####RAINBOW When I was six years old my pops paid a clown to come and entertain the kids for my birthday party. Maybe that’s what got me into this whole clown thing. I don’t know. I know when I was six, that clown was the scariest thing I ever saw! I wet myself every night for weeks. Bozo was his name, or something equally unoriginal. Smelled like an armpit, and hugged me real tight, because, after all it was my birthday.

RAINBOW shudders.

####RAINBOW (CONTINUED) Now you’re wondering, why, why, why, why, if this clown scared me so deeply, would I myself become a clown? That, my friend is the million dollar question. Why did I become a clown? Why did I become a clown? WHY DID I BECOME A CLOWN? A clown. A clown! A CLOWN!… Well, I hate myself. You should know that straight off the bat. But, I’d like to think, I’d hope that I’m not as terrifying as that bastard was thirty years ago. I mean, today… Today wasn’t such a great day, I’ll be honest… And yeah, shoot me, yesterday probably wasn’t so hot. But, like years ago, I was a damn fine clown. I called myself Rainbow… Rainbow the clown. It might not set the world on fire, but it’s a lot more creative than Bozo. And I used to make the best balloon animals, and not stink so much of liquor… And I’m gonna get back there. I’m gonna get back to the good clown place.

RAINBOW drinks.

####RAINBOW (CONTINUED) I mean, not right now… Obviously. Today has sailed if you know what I mean. Anyway, kid… Thanks for having me at your party, you’re a straight shooter, and I appreciate it. And if you find yourself traumatized by this whole thing, know you’re not the only one. At least half a dozen of your friends are probably gonna piss themselves tonight in bed. And you know, me. I mean, I’m not afraid of myself all the time…. But I do tend to avoid mirrors. It’s a bitch to get this makeup on, let me tell you…. Anyway, I’m gonna bounce, before the cops get here. Tell your folks to give me a good review on yelp, k?

RAINBOW exits. End.

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