BLUE, a monologue, also fuck nazis
This past January I was asked to write two pieces for Plan-B Theatre’s (in)divisible, a response to the response of the election. Here’s one of the monologues I wrote:
BLUE by Rachel Bublitz
“I’m thankful my kids don’t look as Jewish as I do, that was, not the first, but pretty close to my first reaction to this dumpster fire. Now this is a terrible thing to think for a lot of reasons, and surprising to me because I’ve never felt ashamed of being Jewish before. I like the way my heritage is presented in my features; I’ve got a big nose and curly hair, and these things make me stand out. I’ve always like that. But now I’m grateful that my kids missed these things in the genetic milkshake that made them. And it’s stupid. And kinda horrible when you think about it, not only because you shouldn’t be down on where you come from, but way more than that, Jews are not at the top of the shit list. No one is trying to create a Jewish registry. Jewish teens aren’t being shot in the street for wearing hoodies or playing with toys.
“Other people are suffering, really suffering, and my reaction is the worst type of entitlement; to have fear without a reason for being afraid. That’s not to say I’ve never experienced anti-Semitism, because I have. Little things like friends saying they were “Jewed” out of something, and slightly bigger things like my step mom’s brother-in-law pulled me aside once and demanded I tell him where Jews get all their money, and how we’re are all so clever. I was twelve and super confused.. Another time, I was volunteering with this group in San Francisco that brought meals on holidays to senior citizens. My first trip out was on Easter, and one of the people I visited was a war veteran who talked only about how the Chinese, Mexicans, Jews, and African Americans had ruined the city, his vocabulary consisted 90% of racial slurs. When he asked me what my plans were for the rest of Easter, I felt a little saucy and told him that I didn’t have any because I was Jewish, and so he got mad and asked me to leave because I’d tricked him into thinking I was white.
“There have been more, and mostly these events have been ridiculous and absurd. That’s part of the entitlement too, because I have the luxury of having years in between these incidents. I don’t get it every day.
“But since November I’ve seen more swastikas than I’ve seen in my whole life. And the tricky thing about these swastikas is that some are from people who feel like they finally get to be open about hating other people, but they’re also getting painted by folks on the other side of the spectrum calling the opposition Nazis. But guess what? It’s impossible to tell which it’s supposed to be. Maybe they should also spray paint a note along with it making it clear… PS this is because I think Hitler is the best, or PS this is because I think that the Alt Right is the new Gestapo.
“On CNN a while back they were discussing important topics of our time and there on the bottom of the screen were the words: “Alt Right Leader so-and-so Questions: Are Jews People?” On TV. For everyone to see, for my kids to see, not that they watch CNN, but come on.
“Jewish Community Centers around the country are getting bomb threats. Jewish cemeteries are being vandalized. And look, I know this is all, it’s a drop in the freakin’ bucket when you compare it to other groups of people who have it much worse. So much worse that I’m ashamed to be even thinking it.
“And it’s not like I think it’ll be the government either. Really I think if something were to happen to me it’d just be some random person. Some person who hates me because they look at me and assume I’m greedy and sneaky and the source of their problems. Some person who thinks this country and this world would be better if people like me weren’t in it. And I can handle that, there aren’t that many of those people, not in the grand scheme of things, and the chance that I’d ever have a run in with one, well the odds are pretty good that I never will…
“But all the same, I’m, I’m just really thankful that my kids don’t look as Jewish as I do.”
I would like to add: fuck nazis.
Fuck white supremacy.